stanleykubricky:

me when i’m in a goddamn bitch of an unsatisfactory situation:

sugarxbb:

kyleblowofski:

skullyskull:

kingsleyyy:

Am I the only one whose internet addiction started with my parents not letting me fucking go anywhere

And then they started complaining about me not going out anywhere

And now when I go out they complain im never home

Where is the lie?

thelilnan:

clockworkjerk:

mytinygayitalianson:

poshxspice:

subject13fringe:

montypythonandtheholyblog:

today I learned that if you want to slash someone’s tires, don’t slash all four; only slash three because if you slash all four their insurance will pay for it but if you only slash three they have to pay for it all out of pocket 

❤

today on satan makes a blog post

Life tip: if someone slashes 3 of your tires, slash the 4th one yourself and blame it on the person who slashed the first 3. Now, your insurance will pay for it.

Life tip: If you slash 3 of their tires, hide out nearby until they discover their slashed tires. Take pictures of them slashing their fourth tire. Show police when they arrive on scene. Convicted of insurance fraud and still have to pay for tires.

i feel like i’m reading a Spy vs Spy comic in text format